JESUS, PARTY OF 13, THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED!
Reverend Kenny Nailemupp
Let us take another visit to the Christian museum of fiction, the New Testament (NT). Remember, no one knows who wrote any NT gospel or for that matter, when! But we will use the Christian bible that has been the standard for 398 years; and has been exclaimed as inerrant and the word of the god, the Invisible Man in the Sky. Let’s talk about the last supper:
Jesus, party of 13, The Kitchen is Closed!
The setup, from the inerrant Christian New Testament, begins with Mark 14:12-18 (King James Version):
12. And the first day of unleavened bread, when they killed the passover, his disciples said unto him, Where wilt thou that we go and prepare that thou mayest eat the passover?
13. And he [Jesus] sendeth forth two of his disciples, and saith unto them, Go ye into the city, and there shall meet you a man bearing a pitcher of water: follow him.
14 And wheresoever he shall go in, say ye to the goodman of the house, The Master saith, Where is the guestchamber, where I shall eat the passover with my disciples?
15 And he will shew you a large upper room furnished and prepared: there make ready for us.
16 And his disciples went forth, and came into the city, and found as he had said unto them: and they made ready the passover.
17 And in the evening he cometh with the twelve.
18 And as they sat and did eat, Jesus said, Verily I say unto you, One of you which eateth with me shall betray me.
I can hear you now, murmuring, “So what, Reverend Nailemupp? We have heard this story forever, that is the ‘Last Supper’ thingy. What is new? What did you mean when you titled this article ‘The Kitchen is Closed?’ Where are you going with this?”
The place of the passover meal (the Last Supper) was indicated to the disciples by means of a secret messenger. So let’s start with a quick quiz. Where does the New Testament claim that Jesus ate the last supper?
In a hall on the second floor of a building correct ― large upper room? (Mark 14:15, Luke 22:12)
Remember, the New Testament keeps referring to Jesus as a “Lamb.”
And looking upon Jesus as he walked, he saith, Behold the Lamb of God! (John 1:36)
And what was the customary passover sacrifice? It was the paschal lamb. And in Jesus’ last supper he was portrayed at the lamb ― the sacrifice.
Students, are you ready for something that has never before ― to the best of my knowledge -- been brought to the forefront?
A quick recap: Christianity claims that Jesus ate the last supper in a hall on the second floor of a building! As we see above, there is no question about this.
Well guess what? I, Reverend Kenny Nailemupp, was studying Tractate Pesachim (in the Talmud) which deals with the laws of passover and noticed something pertinent. On Page 85 the Gemara (rabbinic discussions in the Talmud) states that it was forbidden to eat the paschal lamb on a roof top and the commentaries say that this does not only apply to the roof, but even to the second floor of a building.
The paschal sacrifice had to be eaten only on the ground floor of a building!
Additionally, from the account of a Roman centurion, each year there were over a million pilgrims who came to sacrifice the Paschal lamb and each lamb was consumed by at least 100 people. No group was allowed to be less than 30 males.
Jesus could not have eaten the paschal lamb on the second floor of a building; nor could he and his gathering have eaten it with only 12 disciples.
None of the meat was to be left until morning; so Jesus, party of 13, had to eat as much as possible. The lamb was eaten after the meal as "dessert." Only one piece was eaten by each person. Using a baby lamb to feed 100 people, amounts to portions similar to several slices of salami. The lamb was roasted whole with the exception of the fats and kidneys which had to be sacrificed and the blood which was drained and sprinkled on the altar. But the intestines, the internal organs, the brain, all was eaten with the exception of the bones which were not allowed to be broken. So, we are still talking a large amount of meat ─ thus each group was large so nothing was wasted. So a lamb eaten by 13 men is pure fiction! A lamb eaten by 13? No way Jose; especially when Jewish law says no less than 30 males are to partake.
As usual, Christian clergy and theologians count on the ignorance of their sheeple. The non-Jewish manipulators writing the gospel garbage did not know these Jewish details.
This lesson from the Old Testament ─ Christianity's claimed scriptual basis ─ which they carry in the front of their bible, totally proves that this story is fabricated. The stupid bastards did not know the Jewish tradition so they bull-shited their way through the story, what a laugh!
"O what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!" -Sir Walter Scott (Marmion, A Tale of Flodden Field)
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