THEY AIN'T MAKIN' JEWS LIKE JESUS ANYMORE

Kinky Friedman

(From the album "From One Good American To Another")

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin' Lone Star beer

Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.

"They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one

You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed God's only son."

I said, "Has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that's not very nice,

We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ."

"You know, you don't look Jewish," he said, "near as I could figger

I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger."

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,

They don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.

He started in to shoutin' and a-spittin' on the floor,

"Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore."

He says, "I ain't a racist but Aristitle Onassis is one Greek we don't need

And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nus, all they ever do is breed.

And wops, micks, slopes, spics, spooks are on my list

And there's one little hebe from the heart of Texas -- is there anyone I missed?"

Well, I hit him with everything I had right square between the eyes.

I says, "I'm gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin' that pack of lies.

If there's one thing I can't abide, it's an ethnocentric racist;

Now you take back that thing you said about Aristitle Onassis."

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,

We don't turn the other cheek the way we done before.

You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor

"Lord, they sho' ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!"

All right!

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,

We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.

You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor

Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore.

Everybody!

They ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,

They ain't makin' carpenters who know what nails are for.

Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door

"Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!"

No, we ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,

We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.

Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door

"Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!"

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