Miriam's Baby
(A parody on the birth of Christ)
By Shmuel Golding

Once upon a time, a long time ago, it was forecast through the stars, that an holy infant should be born who would become the saviour of mankind. Every so often, the old gods were replaced by the new. The twelve major gods of Olympus had reproduced among themselves gods and goddesses to assist mankind in various areas such as fertility, art, agriculture, entertainment and warfare. There was Athena, born out of Zeus' head, who was the goddess of wisdom and skill. Apollo was the son of Zeus and Leto, represented Greek civilisation. Demeter, daughter of Cronus and Rhea, the great goddess of agriculture. Aphrodite, daughter of Zeus and Dione, was goddess of beauty and love. Then there was Ares, son of Zeus and Hera, who became the god of war. Asclepius the physician-god par excellence who cured mortals and alleviated their pains. The Nymphs were goddesses of nature all of them daughters of Zeus. Then there were the Muses, offsprings of Zeus and Mnemosyne, who inspired music, art and poetry. The Fates, the Furies and the demonic Telchines came later, and then came the time to produce the Christos, a universal saviour god-man, who the magoi pronounced should be born under a star, that would lead them to his birthplace in the East.

Many god-men had been conceived by mortal maidens when the sons of the gods came into the daughters of men, and they bore them children.(1) Most of these god-men became heroes and saviours of the people such as Hercules, Persus, Agenor, king of Phonecia, Belus, king of Egypt, and probably the Prince of Zor who said he was a god.(2) In fact many demigods, saviours, and heroes were born of unions with gods and mortal women that there was at that time, that is a long time ago, scarcely an important Greek family which did not claim such lofty ancestry.

The days in which our story took place were days of turmoil, political unrest, the changing of Empires from Greek to Roman including many religious changes, in which the Greek gods were given Roman names. At that time, the educated people known as Hellenists were throwing out the old gods and embracing monotheism, but the pagans who were in the majority, held in contempt the atheists who dared to believe only in one God the Creator of all. The pagans clung to the hope that Zeus or one of the gods would seduce a maiden who would give birth to a hero, a saviour like Hercules.

And so it happened, a long time ago, during the spring equinox, a young woman was pregnated by a god, (3) and would thus give birth nine months later which would be the winter solstice in time for the festival which had now been given the Roman name of 'Dies Invicti Solis', the Day of the Invinsible Sun, December 25. The same day was the feast of the Saturnalia the birthday of the god-man Mithra. (4)

The young woman, who became the courtesan of the god, was a Hebrew girl by the name of Miriam the daughter of Bilgah.(5) Whether she was pretty or not has never been recorded but it is well documented that she had a flair for men.(6) Some say she resembled the goddess Isis and in later years when her fame became known, sculptures made images of her bearing an infant in her arms.

The father of her child remains a mystery. Some say that Miriam had more than one husband. She was married to Joseph ben Jacob from the royal house of David and at the same time to Joseph ben Heli of the tribe of Levi the priestly cast. (7)  At least she didn't have to be afraid of confusing the names of her husbands when going from one to the other.

Joseph it is said, was an old man and knew that he could never father a child, and like Miriam he had left Judaism to follow the religious cults of the pagans. If Miriam being young, could bear a child, it would be conceived by Zeus or some lesser god. Joseph was known to the cult as a dreamer of dreams and under Jewish law he could be put to death,(8) but his dreams later saved his life and that of the infant god-man soon to be in his care.(9)

It came to pass that Miriam had been chosen by the cult to bear in her womb Christos the child of god.(10) Joseph had seen it all in a dream, and knew that he had been cuckold by god, (11) but believed as according to the angel in his dream, that it was to be for the salvation of mankind. He may have even felt some pride at becoming the stepfather of a god and perhaps proud of Miriam being the chosen vessel.

Well, it happened one night in Nissan.(12) When Miriam was alone in her house that she was suddenly visited by a man who claimed to be an angel. His manner of greeting troubled her, for he entered into her, but told her not to fear because god had favoured her to conceive in her womb a holy thing which would be called the Christos son of god.(13) That same night, Miriam consented to be the handmaid of the lord, and was immediately overshadowed by the highest and the ghost of god came upon her and she conceived.

But; it was later, much later recorded, that the father of the god-man was not a god but a dybbuk, a clinging spirit of the dead which could express its feelings, passions and desires. Miriam's child was the first begotten of the dead.(14) In those days superstition was accepted as divine truth. In pagan mythology, the dead are credited with the ability to perform many acts. Even in the Hebrew Bible, a witch told Saul that the ghost of Samuel rose out of the earth and conveyed to Saul a message.

Persons who have died have, in the pagan past, been given funeral rites, such as ladders buried with them, for their journey to heaven. Food and wine have been left in the coffin for this same imaginary journey. Relatives of the dead have been known to protect themselves from the wandering ghosts. Such pretense became a truth in the minds of the bereaved ones and their god-ghost relatives appeared to do anything the mind suggested.

During her pregnancy Miriam left her home in the Galilee and hid away for three months with her aged cousin in Judea, who after a similar angelic visitation was also pregnant and in hiding.(15) Miriam then returned to her home heavy with child. The story of being seduced by a ghost or a dybbuk or a god was unbelieved by the majority of her Jewish kindred. Either Joseph ben Jacob, or Joseph ben Heli, had to own up and take the responsibility of fathering the child, but at that time a noble Roman soldier Pandira, settled the matter and gave her his protection until the child was born after which many believed it to be his child.(16)

Tales about Miriam circulated around the Galilee, they were told in Judea and as far away as Pumbeditha. Some relate that she was a fallen women, some say she was a hairdresser.(17) Finally she went to Bethlehem where she gave birth to her infamous infant.

The god or ghost father intervened. He gave a sign to the magicians. They were to follow a star to the East where they would find Miriam's baby.

The star was no ordinary star. Its movements and its twinkle were different to any other. The astrologers and the star-gazers knew of its power, but cared not that the stars are not pure in the sight of the God of Israel upon whose land it shone.(18) They only knew that it was the bright star and the child was Lucifer's son, son of the morning.(19) They followed diligently the bright and morning star.(20)

The magicians,(21) Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar (22) followed the star to Bethlehem a town in Judea known as the House of Bread where in former times, a long time ago, the god Tammuz Adonis was worshipped (23) before being replaced by Mithra. In the eyes of the magicians it seemed as if the star had fallen from heaven and they knew it to be the star of their god.(24) They took rich treasures of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, and came to the house where the child lay and they bowed down and worshipped him.(25)

Their god then spoke to them in a dream that they should not tell Herod the Judean king, of the child's whereabouts, but should return to their country another way. Herod was an Idumean, a convert to the Jewish faith, and knowing the ways of the gentiles he hated magicians, dreamers, and astrologers all of whom the Torah denounces as an abomination to the God of Israel. (26)

Now there were at this time, a long time ago, shepherds in the land of Judea abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.(27) These Jewish shepherds were living at a time when Judea lay crushed under the heel of Rome. The Empire was corrupt. Taxes were crushing. People were in debt. The poor were ground to dust under the yoke of Rome. Society was in turmoil, threatened with decay, danger, destruction and wars. Everywhere Jews were asking, "How can we be saved from this horrible life? Who will save us from oppression and Roman bondage?"

These shepherds, like all their countrymen, were longing for a messiah from the house of David to come and liberate them from cruel foreign oppressors. In those days messianic expectancies were high and all hopes were centered on the coming of a Jewish king.

No one could blame those simple shepherds, who seeing an angel, and feeling an awesome presence around them, became afraid and fell with their faces to the ground. Abraham, Hagar, Jacob, Moses, Gideon, Manoah, David, Elijah and others had seen angels but were not afraid. Jacob even wrestled with one and prevailed, but the shepherds were aware of an evil presence and thought they must have seen the evil angels sent by God (28) of whom he charged with folly. (29) They heard the angels' message, and did as they were commanded, leaving their flock of sheep, a dangerous thing to do, whilst they journeyed to Bethlehem to see what it was all about.

Unlike the pagan magicians, they took no presents and were not received into the house, instead they were shown a stable where they saw a baby laying in a liknon which reminded them of the tales about the god Hermes who a long, long time ago, had been wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a similar manger.(30) They at first could not understand why the family of Joseph was not there, seemingly he had traveled all the way from Galilee to come to his own town. Surely like all Jewish families especially one with aristocracy and royal blood, they would be there to share the joy of the hour.

The shepherds offered no praise, neither did they bow to the child as the pagan magicians had done. Instead they made known what they had seen concerning the child so that all wondered at those things the shepherds told them. There were far too many doubts about the Jewishness of the child and his strange parents. The Judean shepherds returned to their fields praising and glorifying the God of Israel who had saved them from worshipping the child of the morning star. They, with the rest of Israel continued to wait for the star of Jacob. (31)

Miriam's child was never accepted by her own people the Jews. They would never worship a child, for it is written in their scriptures, "what is man that he should be clean, and one that is born of a woman that he should be righteous?" (32) The Christos child grew and met all the expectations of the pagans. He, like the sacred bull of Mithra, became the sacred lamb. His followers ate his flesh and drank his blood as he had commanded them. (33) A cult was founded in his name which was spread, by the help of the sword, across the world. Christos supplanted the god Mithra and became the last of the pagan gods.

FOOTNOTES:

(1) Hebrew reads 'bnei elohim' = sons of gods. (plural)
(2) Ezekiel 28:2
(3) March 25th is the feast of the Annunciation which commemorates the conception of Christ in Mary's womb.
(4) Encyclopedia Britannica - Roman Religion Vol 15.
(5) Miriam is Hebrew for Mary and is how the name appears in the New Testament Greek. Bilgah, the name of Miriam's father can be found in the Talmud, Sukkah 56b.
(6) Talmud: Tractate Shabat 104b. Sanhedrin 67a.
(7) This parallels the husbands of Mary recorded in Matt 1:16 and Luke 3:23.
(8) Deut 13:5
(9) The Joseph of Matthew's gospel was a dreamer (Matt 1:20; 2:13; 2:19,22)
(10) Luke 1:30-35.  (11) Matt 1:20
(12) Nissan - The Jewish month that corresponds with march/April on the Gregorian calendar.
(13) Luke 1:28-32. The original New Testament Greek reads that the angel entering = 'eiselthoon' from 'eiseimi' = to enter, 'auten' = her.
(14) Rev 1:5  (15) Luke 1:24  (16) Talmud - Kodashim. Hullin 2:22,24. Sukkah 4:48.
(17) Talmud - Shabbat 104b  (18) Job 25:5
(19) Isa 14:12. Hebrew reads 'Hilel ben Shakhar' = bright star son of the morning - The KJV renders bright star as Lucifer.
(20) Rev 20:16
(21) 'Magoi' in Greek (Matt 2:1) is Magi in Latin from whence comes the word Magic. The three 'wise men', English translation KJV, were none other than magicians.
(22) These names vary according to different Church denominations.
(23) The birthplace of Christ is a rock shrine in Bethlehem in which Tammuz was worshipped. Jerome Epistle 58 ad Paulinum.
(24) Amos 5:26  (25) Matt 2:11  (26) Lev 19:26,31; Deut 18:9,10; Deut 13:5.
(27) Luke 2:8  (28) Ps 78:49  (29) Job 4:18
(30) 'Liknon' = Greek for basket. See Encyclopedia Britannica, Vol 17 p. 623.
(31) Num 24:17  (32) Job 15:14  (33) John 6:53-56

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