A NEW CHRISTIAN HOLIDAY SONG
“Mr
Hankey, The Christmas Poo”
As
sung by Mr. Herbert (Ethan F.) Garrison
and
The
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We’ve all heard of Rudolph and
his shiny nose
And we all know Frosty who’s
made out of snow
But all of those stories seem
kind of, Gay
‘Cos we all know who brightens
up our holiday
Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo
Small and Brown, he comes from
you
Sit on the toilet, here he
comes
Squeeze him ‘tween your festive
buns!
A present from down below
Spreading joy with a ‘howdy
ho’!
He’s seen the love inside of
you
‘Cos he’s a piece of poo!
Sometimes he’s nutty, sometimes
he’s corny
He can be brown, or
greenish-brown
But if you eat fiber on
Christmas Eve
He might come to your town.
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you.
Therefore vicariously, he loves
you
‘I can make a Mr Hankey too’!
__________
Cartman: “Well Kyle, where is he?”
Kyle: “Uh, he’s coming...”
Stan: “Come on dude, Push!”
Kyle: “I’m trying”
Cartman: “Wait Wait! I can see his
head”
Kyle: “Here he comes...”
Mr Hankey: “HOWDY HO!”
__________
I’m Mr. Hankey, the Christmas
Poo
Seasons greetings to all of
you.
Lets sing songs, and dance, and
play.
Now, before I melt away
Here’s a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try
to say
‘Howdy ho ho, yum yum yum
Christmas time has come!’
Sometimes he’s runny, sometimes
he’s firm
Sometimes he practically water
Sometimes he hangs off the end
of your ass
And won’t fall in the toilet,
‘Cos he’s just clinging to your
sphincter
And he wont drop off, and so
you shake your ass around.
And try to get it to drop in
the toilet
And finally it does.
__________
Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo
Christmas leaves, he must leave
too.
Flush him down, but he’s never
gone,
His smell and his spirit
lingers on.
Howdy ho!