ďBringing Joy to the WorldĒ

As sung by Mr. Herbert (Ethan F.) Garrison

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I heard there is no Christmas in the silly middle-east.

No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus, they have different religious beliefs.

They believe in Muhammad and not in our holiday.

And so every December I go to the Middle East and say,


Hey there Mr. Muslim, Merry freaking Christmas

Put down that book the Koran and hear some holiday wishes.

In case you havenít noticed itís Jesusí birthday.

So get off your heathen Muslim ass and freaking celebrate!




There is no holiday season in India Iíve heard.

They donít hang up their stockings and that is just absurd.

They never read a Christmas story; they donít know what Rudolph is about.

And that is why in December Iíll go to India and shout.


Hey there Mr. Hindu, It is merry freaking Christmas.

Drink eggnog and eat some beef and pass it to the missus

In case you havenít noticed itís Jesusí birthday.

So get off your heathen Hindu ass and freaking celebrate!





Now I heard that in Japan everyone just lives in sin

They pray to several gods and put needles in their skin

On December 25th all they do is eat a cake

And that is why I go to Japan and walk around and say


Hey there Mr. shin Taoist, Merry freaking Christmas!

God is going to kick your ass, you infidelic pagan scum.

In case you havenít noticed, there are special things to do

So letís all rejoice for Jesus, merry freaking Christmas to you!





On Christmas day I travel around the world and say

Joyous Christmas on us and all you atheists too!

Merry freaking Christmas to you!