SCHOOL BIBLE CLASSES? NO WAY!

SCHOOL BIBLE CLASSES? NO WAY!

John D Stone

Dear Jim-Bob,

Since you are an evangelical Christian, you personally know how very hard that all of us have been working to get The Bible back in our schools. As a Baptist preacher, I am personally proud to report that the school board finally approved a plan to bring The Bible to our children in school classrooms. We had hoped the ACLU would sue us so we could go all the way to the Supreme Court and get the old devil-inspired “no-Bible” ruling permanently killed.

Naturally, we were all excited by the school board’s action. As you know, our own little Dwayne is now in the third grade. Darlene and I have always explained to him what the Bible was about. We told him that no matter what the other kids did, he was to stay in the classroom and participate; to study The Bible.

After the first day of school bible class, I asked him, “How did bible study go?”

“Fine,” said Dwayne.

“Did many kids go out into the hallway?”

“Only two.”

“Fantastic, this is better than I anticipated. How did you like your teacher?”

“It was different, Dad; really different from the way you and Mom teach me about The Bible.”

“Oh? How?”

“The teacher taught about the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God and that she was immune from original sin at the moment she was created. We then learned ‘Hail Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners ...’ “

You bet that the very next day I called the principal about this. I politely explained that I wasn’t prejudiced against Catholics, but I would appreciate Billy being transferred to a non-Catholic teacher. The principal agreed, saying it would be done right away.

At supper the next evening I asked Dwayne to tell us how the new bible class was now. He slipped out of his chair, sat cross-legged on the floor, closed his eyes, raised his hands ― palms up ― in the air and began to hum.

Yep, the next morning I was at the principal’s office at eight o’clock sharp. “Look,” I said. “I don’t really know much about this Transcendental Meditation thing, but I would feel a lot more comfortable if you would move Billy to a homeroom where the teacher practices an older, more established religion.”

Well, I was right there at home that afternoon as soon as Dwayne walked in the door after school.

Dwayne greet me with, “I don’t think you’re going to like Mrs. Nakasone’s bible class either, Dad.”

“What? Out with it Dwayne.”

“She kept chanting Namu Amida Butsu ...”

The following morning I was waiting for the principal in the school parking lot. “Look, I don’t want my son learning about the Eternal Spirit of whatever Buddha. I want Dwayne to have a teacher who knows Jesus!”

“She said, Certainly, I’ll move him to Bertha Smith’s homeroom?”

“Excellent.”

I could hardly wait to hear about Mrs. Smith’s bible class. I was standing on the front steps of the school when the final bell rang.

“Well?” I asked Billy as we walked toward the car.

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Mrs. Smith asked taught us about God [the Invisible Man in the Sky] and that the scriptures say to pray in Jesus’ name, just like you.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, “Now we’re getting some place.”

“She even taught us a new verse of scripture to illustrate,” said Billy.

I beamed. “Excellent! What was the verse?”

“Lets see,” as Dwayne though for a moment, “And behold, they began to pray; and they did pray unto Jesus, calling him their Lord and their God.”

We were now at the car; reaching for the door handle I said “Fantastic.” Then I paused, I couldn’t place the scripture; it was not familiar. “Billy, did Mrs. Smith say in what book that verse was found?”

“Third Nephi, chapter 19, verse 18.”

“Nephi what??!!”

“Nephi,” Dwayne said. “It is right there in the Book of Mormon.”

As luck would have it, the school board doesn’t meet until the end of the month. I have now given Dwayne very definite instructions ― that at bible class time each day he is to go out into the hallway. I plan to be at that school board meeting. If they don’t do something about this situation, I’ll sue. I’ll take it all the way to the Supreme Court if I have to. I don’t need schools or anybody else teaching my son about religion and The Bible. We can take care of that ourselves at home and at church, thank you very much.

It just makes me mad that so many people just don’t know The Bible or how to study it. They don’t know that Jesus died to save them from the devil, but they still try to force their ignorant or pagan ways on my child. What-in-hell are they studying? Don’t they know they will go to hell?

Jim-Bob, I thought you would like to know what school bible class is really all about.

Darlene says to give her love to Laverne and the boys.

Your friend in Jesus,

Reverend Donny Wade

Missionary Baptist Church

Horn Lake, Mississippi

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