CHRISTIANITY’S
DUEL PROPHECY
Yeshurun Kayemet
How
does a Christian “dual prophecy” work?
1. It is created AFTER
THE FACT.
2. The words do not need
to have a direct bearing on both of the two matters it discusses.
3. The words do not need
to mean the same thing for both statements. (So "almah" can mean
"young woman" in one meaning, and supposedly mean "virgin"
in another.)
4. It is impossible to prove or disprove because
it can be twisted, er, I mean
interpreted, to mean anything.
So here is an example:
In Genesis 49:3-4 you
learn that Jacob blessed his twelve sons, beginning with Reuben:
3 'Reuben,
you are my firstborn, my strength and the beginning of my manhood, first in
rank and first in power. 4 [But because you were] unstable as
water, you will no longer be first. This is because you moved your father's
bed, committing a profane act. He moved my bed!
Here is how to understand
it under the treatment of the Christian "dual prophecy" principle.
49:3 'Jesus, (Reuben really
means another name for Jesus), you
are My (because
this is G-d speaking, not Jacob) firstborn (Israel USED to be my firstborn, but now you
are), my strength (you are how I express My strength on earth, and all
miracles I have ever done I should have done through you, like the Splitting of
the Reed Sea and the Ten Plagues, but I forgot and didn't do them that way)
and the beginning of my manhood (G-dhood), first in rank (you smell the most) and first in
power (which
makes you invincible so neither the Sanhedrin nor Romans could ever kill you).
49:4 [But because you were] unstable as
water (even your
parents and family thought you were insane), you will no longer be
first (this
means, actually, that you will ALWAYS be first, but sinners shall consider you
last). This is because you moved your father's bed (being born from an
adulterous act, and thus you are illegitimate), committing a profane
act (by
overturning the Courtyard of the
Here is another example of
how Jesus can be seen as foretold through the magic of "dual
prophecy."
The Bible says: "Do not muzzle an ox when it is
treading grain" (Deut. 25:4).
To muzzle involves
placing something over the head of the ox. This refers to a crown of thorns. An
ox refers to Jesus, of course. How do we know (though only a pharisee would ask
that question)? Because Moses said about Joseph "His glory is like a
first-born ox...." (Deut. 33:17) and whenever the Bible says
"Joseph" it means Jesus, so therefore whenever it says ox it means
Jesus (more about that later).
"Treading
grain" means hard work, so this refers to Jesus (or should we call him
oxke?) carrying the cross.
Thus, according to the
Christians, the Bible is saying, by the magic of dual prophecy, that the Jews
will sin by making Jesus wear a crown of thorns as he carries his cross. Of
course, it wasn't the Jews who did that, but this is christian theology, not
fact.
Now, if the word ox always
means Jesus, let's see how that works in dual prophecies.
Let's examine Exodus 23:4
in the Christian’s dual prophecy mode.:
4 If
you come across your enemy's ox or donkey going astray, bring it back to him.
"You" refers to
Christians, of course.
"Your enemy"
means the Jews.
"Ox" means
Jesus.
"Donkey" also
means Jesus. How do we know? Because Jacob blessed Issachar and said
"Issachar is a strong-boned donkey..." (Genesis 49:14).
So that refers to
Issachar, which means Jesus, because Moses said "Rejoice Zebulun in your
excursions, and Issachar in your tent" (Deut. 33:18).
And a tent means Jesus,
because it says "when a man dies in a tent," and Jesus died, so it
must mean Jesus.
Thus, "donkey"
refers to Jesus, by the magic of (heavily contrived) dual prophecy.
"Going astray"
refers to backsliding heretics and Jews. They must be returned and brought back
to their master, Jesus.
So again: the verse that
says "If you come across your
enemy's ox or donkey going astray, bring it back to him" really means,
through dual idiocy:
So now, via the dual
idiocy, eh make that dual prophecy, a Christian is charged―If you see a Jew
who does not believe in Jesus, you must "bring him back."
Note to Pharisees: Never
mind that this would mean that Jesus is the enemy of the Christian person
charged with this mission. This is a dual prophecy, and words do not need to
mean what they mean in a dual prophecy. Got that?
And never mind that you
can't bring a Jew "back" to where he has never been, he was always
owned by Jesus, he just never knew it! So go out there and win a few souls for
your enemy! Or something like that....
I hope this helps clear up the matter of dual prophecy.
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