_________________________: BE A REAL CHRISTIAN & OBEY JESUS
(Fill in the name of the Christian to be tested)
Although many people consider themselves Christians, very few follow the commandments of Jesus Christ. You can start on the road to being the Christian that Jesus wants; by simply following two basic commandments that he gave to those who would believe in him ― in Jesus’ “own words.”
· Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you. (Matthew 5:42)
· Give to everyone who begs from you; and when someone takes your things, don't ask for them back. (Luke 6:30)
If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again (Luke 6:34).
Again, I remind you of Jesus’ words, his basic declaration for those who believe in him ― those who profess to be Christians:
· If you love me, you will keep my commandments (John 14:15)
Therefore, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I ________________________beg you _____________________ to give me:
(Your Full Name) (Name of Christian being tested)
$ __________________________________________________________________________________________________
(Identify: cash, car title, real estate, stocks, bonds, jewlery – any assets in general)
Send to:
Name: _____________________________________________________________________________________________
Address: ___________________________________________________________________________________________
City: _____________________________________________________ State: _____________________ Zip: ___________
Signature________________________________________________ Date: ____________________________
Remember the words of “your” Lord Jesus Christ, how he said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35b)
To further prove that you are a “real” believing Christian, I command you to continue to obey Jesus (once you have sent out the money and possessions I begged of you above) commands set forth in Mark 16:17-18:
· And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
· They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them;
To do this you must handle serpents 1 and let it bite you and drink deadly things 2. If you do not do these you fail as a Christian! Do not be afraid because the resurrected Jesus promised (in his own words) in Mark 16:16:
· “He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.” (Mark 16:16)
Jesus tells you again and again that all will be well when you follow him. Right away, two scriptures come to mind:
· "…If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed ... nothing shall be impossible unto you.” (Matthew 17:20)
· “He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also..." (John 14:12)
Please conduct these acts ― testimony of your real faith in Jesus ― in front of two witnesses. You AND the witnesses should sign this attestation in front of a Notary (have it notarized) and promptly return to me.
In case it turns out that you are not a “real” Christian, a “true believer” in Jesus, and therefore die as a result of following Mark 16:17-18; please have arrangements made to have an official “death certificate” (showing cause of death) sent to me.
By the way, you may also want to provide copies of this form to your clergy, missionaries and your Christian friends. Since they are constantly telling you “What a friend we have in Jesus,” they certainly would like to join you and show how really faithful they are too. Have no fear, for have you not been taught that the New Testament 3 is Holy and given by one of the Godhead, the Holy Ghost. Surely you trust the Holy Ghost 4 as well as Jesus?
Footnotes:
1. I suggest you use a “Black Mamba” or “Mohave Green Rattlesnake;” preferably both (one for each hand) to show how much you really, really believe in Jesus, his words and promises.
2. As to drinking deadly things, a real Christian may want to consider any one of these four-ounce cocktails: Ricin, Arsenic or Hydrogen Cyanide.
3. "The Holy Bible ... is God's revelation of Himself to man. It is a perfect treasure of divine instruction. It has God for its author, salvation for its end, and truth, without any mixture of error, for its matter. Therefore, all Scripture is totally true and trustworthy." The Baptist Faith and Message; Adopted by the Southern Baptist Convention June 14, 2000
4. “…whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come. (Matthew 12:32)
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